Archive for July, 2018

It’s Okay To Be Imperfect

Posted in Worth on July 30, 2018| 2 Comments »

Are you a perfectionist? Being deliberately bad at a number of things fooled me into thinking I wasn’t. But that was only so I could have the energy to be a perfectionist at what was important to me.

Things like my spiritual maturity, being a husband and father, and my ministry have been the focus with some success. But it’s never enough. Being a good father seemed to morph into being a perfect one. Being productive in ministry increased to being even more fruitful. Good was not good enough.

When I graduated from seminary eight years ago I envisioned myself as a Movement leader. Unless God used me to turn the hearts and minds of hundreds or even thousands toward the deeper spiritual walk I had experienced in seminary, I was falling short. This was perfectionism in action.

I am slowly learning to be content with fulfilling the roles that God has assigned for me, even if it feels like a third of a loaf instead of a whole one. Each new project is now carefully evaluated  to insure it comes from God. Seeking to be perfect in my eyes is a waste of time because it is unnecessary, for God has already said to each of us, “You are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you” (Isaiah 43:4, NLT). By accomplishing more, we will never be valued or loved more than we are today.

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Many of us are taught to aim high and if we fall short, we still have accomplished a lot. But failure can cause discontent and the fear of trying. Several times in my career I have accepted jobs that were over-my-head and suffered the pain of failure. It helps us to remember our importance does not depend on how impressive the job we hold is to us or others but on it being God’s assignment.

I recently decided to stay involved in a ministry that was only doing a fraction of what I hoped it’s impact would be some day. I wanted to accomplish a fuller impact sooner. But God usually doesn’t work that way. It’s “little by little” and “step by step. ”A hard worker has plenty of food, but a person who chases fantasies has no sense” (Proverbs 12:11, NLT). Let us lay aside our fantasies and follow God in pursuit of his ministry.

Ninety-two percent of New Year’s resolutions fail. Perfectionism often drives us to make unrealistic goals and when we fail, we give up. We never think of  cutting our goals in half.

Let us be content with who we are and what we do. After trusting God for his power and doing our best, may we rest in who we are to God. We need to let go of trying to earn importance and approval from God and others by being perfect.

We are already important and approved of by him. We have a perfect standing with him. Let’s look forward to the day in heaven when our performance will be perfect as well. In the meantime, we are still important, accepted, and loved by God, despite being imperfect.

 

 

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The Problem with Suffering

Posted in Trials on July 20, 2018| Leave a Comment »

We all suffer. It’s amazing the variety of ways we do. Backaches, heartbreaks, and pressures to perform are common sources of our pain.

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Suffering is made easier when it has meaning. Most of my periods of pain as adult do have meaning. I can look back and see some of what God was doing in the situations. However, I still struggle to understand what God was doing through my difficult childhood. But that’s okay. I accept there were reasons the suffering took place.

Sometimes others don’t seem to be struggling that much. But my confidence is God has worked together  difficulties to make me more like himself in ways that would never have happened in easier times.

If we are Christians, we know God loves and watches over us. Yet, we suffer. How do we explain that? There are a number of possibilities. God is a loving father and disciplines us so we will grow more like him. This process often is painful as he allows us to suffer the consequences of failing to live life his way.

Pain comes because we live in a fallen world. How could it be otherwise? We can’t expect this to be a “heaven on earth” experience when our world is in rebellion against God.

He allows suffering so we can experience his comfort and encouragement. This develops our dependence on him and deepens our intimacy. Pain makes us desperate and more inclined to throw ourselves on his mercy, otherwise, we prefer to rely on ourselves. But it’s in our struggles we recognize our weakness and grow strong in the Lord. “For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

The difficulties encourage me to look forward to heaven where there will be no pain. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever” (Revelation 21:4, NLT).As long as we are here, we are promised trouble (Job 5:7).

Regardless of the good reasons to suffer, I don’t like it. Many times, my choice would be comfort over difficult growth.

How do we please the Lord in our pain? What does godliness look like?

Joseph was shipped off to a foreign land as a slave by his jealous brothers. He was put into prison when he was falsely accused of wrong-doing. Yet, he served his masters well, saw God in his circumstances and did not become bitter by his harsh treatment. He saw God’s good purposes in his circumstances. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good” (Genesis 50:20, NLT). Like Joseph, we need to develop God’s perspective on pain by applying scripture to our suffering.

We may feel God doesn’t love us much when we are going through hard times. But he does. Pain can deceive us. God promises us that hard times will never mean he has stopped loving us (1 Peter 5:10).

Several years ago, I went through a period of intense chronic pain. I was confused and didn’t know what to do. In my darkness, I focused on doing the responsible thing in God’s eyes, regardless of the pain. This helped me to face my fears instead of running from them. I learned avoiding trials was not always the responsible thing to do. The commitment to do the responsible thing despite pain was the light God used to lead me out of the darkness.

May God give us his perspective on pain- it’s for a purpose, it’s for our good, and he will help us through it. Let’s give thanks for what he is doing through our suffering today.

 

 

 

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Wounded But Not Crippled

Posted in Spiritual Formation on July 9, 2018| Leave a Comment »

We all are wounded by life. These wounds can cripple us or we can grow stronger through confronting the fears and distorted thinking behind them that threaten to keep us from becoming the healthy people God designed us to be.

My scars have slowed me down. I came from an abusive, Non-Christian home which left me with considerable distorted thinking. What people thought of me was who I was. My worth was determined by my achievements. It wasn’t okay to be me.

These false beliefs could have crippled me if not confronted and transformed by God’s power. By confronting them, I have gradually realized what people think is not as important as on what God thinks of me. Achievements don’t increase my importance which helps me relax more in being precious to God.  And it’s okay to be me. My passions, interests, and desires need to be lived out in God’s power to become the person he created me to be.

People who are learning to overcome their wounds are setting aside the crippling thoughts, beliefs and practices from their pasts and embracing God’s liberating truths.

One of my ministries is mentoring medical students in how to integrate their faith with their future medical practices. But many of them have been wounded which has led them to become addicted to pornography. This addiction can cripple them and rob them of a fulfilling life. But they can also fight back against their wounds and cooperate with God in their healing. Many of them are joining support groups for encouragement and accountability in this area.

Too often we tolerate our wounds. We get used to living in a sick reality because it makes us feel safer. But God wants to heal us from our wounds and put on his ways of dealing with life (Ephesians 4:22-24). Pornography is a false way to intimacy that only God can fully satisfy.

We need to face our brokenness. This takes courage and desperation. We may need to revisit our childhoods and reflect on the messages we had trained into us about how life worked. Sometimes we will realize we have been radically molded differently from God’s ways. If we have been trained to please others to be safe, we may spend the rest of our lives trying to live other people’s expectations instead of being true to ourselves and living the life God has planned.

But we will need to work at it. Learning and using the Word of God, depending on the Holy Spirit, and practicing spiritual disciplines can be helpful in cooperating with God in our transformation.

The bottom line in avoiding becoming crippled is a healthy heart. “Watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23, NAS). Knowing the Word only and not practicing it, depending on ourselves only and not the Holy Spirit, and practicing the spiritual disciplines as a way to grow ourselves will fail to change us. Only God can do this. He will use the Word, the Spirit, and the disciplines we know and practice to transform us.

We can be healed of our wounds so they don’t cripple us. But we need to count the cost. Are we willing to fight the battle with the world, the flesh and the devil to be healed? Or do we want to take the worldly path and miss the supernatural one God offers us as we heal? I choose health over being crippled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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