Archive for June, 2020

We can learn much from the past. Or, we can ignore it and risk committing the same mistakes over and over again.

In some cases, I have learned from my prior mistakes. One example was when I was searching for a wife. In the early days of my search, I tried to pretend I was an exciting, adventurous, and fun-loving man. The only problem was I was actually a serous-minded and slightly introverted person.

However, a pretty sorority girl thought I was what I pretended to be. I think I could have married her if I had kept up the charade. But I knew I couldn’t. So, I ran away.

I resolved I would never do that again. I would learn from my past – and I did. In my next serious relationship several years later, I was authentic – maybe too authentic. I freely shared my faults and made no attempt to go out of my way to impress her. I even took her ice skating on our first date, which I had never learned how to do. Boy, was she impressed! She figured I was genuine if I was willing to demonstrate such weakness. She eventually became my wife.

One reason we don’t learn from our foolish mistakes is because of the human tendency to cling to our foolishness. “You cannot separate fools from their foolishness, even though you grind them like grain with mortar and pestle” (Proverbs 27:22, NLT). We have an innate tendency to stubbornly repeat our mistakes. It hurts our pride to admit we are wrong, so we don’t. We can become like “an old and foolish king who no longer knows how to receive instruction (Ecclesiastes 4:13, NAS).

Another reason we don’t learn from the past is we don’t remember it. Recently I was reviewing my journal from ten years ago. To my surprise I was dealing with similar issues then as I am today. First, I was surprised life hadn’t changed that much. But I also gained perspective about resolving my challenges today through reviewing what worked from the past. Journaling our thoughts, feelings and behaviors and then reflecting on them, can help us correct our mistakes and not repeat them. “I considered my ways and turned my feet to your direction” (Psalm 119:59, NLT).

A third reason we don’t learn is we don’t want to change. We don’t want to grow but feel comfortable. But the irony is when we choose to follow Jesus, he will change us. Sure it’s painful. But God promises us that “All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful, yet to those who have been trained by it,  afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness (Hebrews 12:11, NAS). But are we willing to pay the price for peace?

One way we can learn from the past is from the Bible. God says, “For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope (Romans 15:4, NLT). Many teachings and examples of wise and foolish behavior are given to us in the Scriptures.

We can also learn from the experiences of others, especially mature Christians who have grappled with similar challenges.

Most of all we can ask God to give us an open and teachable heart. We need God’s help to soften our hearts to changes he wants to make. He calls to us when he says “Today when you hear my voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled” (Hebrews 13:5, NLT). May we learn from the past so our lives will grow and better reflect the love, joy, and peace he wants to give us.

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