One of the big challenges we face as Christians is learning to let the Lord take the lead in our lives and spiritual growth. I tried for years to grow myself and be good by doing bible studies, memorizing Scriptures, having quiet times, and a host of other activities. Only when faced with major exhaustion did I face the painful reality that I needed more help from God to be good and to grow. Following is an excerpt from my book, Experiencing God’s Transforming Love, that talks about a major barrier we all face in growing and being good.

We are strongly tempted to perfect ourselves and be good in the power of our own fortitude (rather than allow ourselves to be transformed by the power of God). No amount of human effort can transform us; only God can. We are not to focus on being obedient to a set of biblical principles. This will not transform us, nor will having quiet times, Bible studies, or practicing any other spiritual discipline. We were saved from a life of trying to be good and pleasing to God to deal with our guilt and shame. Only the blood of Christ takes care of our guilt and shame (Hebrews 9:12-14).

The first several years of my Christian walk I tried very hard to be good. I had my quiet times religiously; I did everything imaginable with the Word (listened to it, read it, studied it, memorized it and meditated on it), prayed often, and did the right things. I was blessed with much fortitude, and I used it to my advantage. By all indications, I was a spiritual giant because I was doing all the right things. Yet, was I really being transformed into Christlikeness at the heart level? The truth is that I was being transformed at the heart level, but, I believe, there were huge areas of my heart that were resisting transformation.

Spiritual transformation of our hearts does occur when we open our hearts to God, depend on the indwelling Spirit, and use the spiritual disciplines to position ourselves for this to happen. Spiritual disciplines, like listening to sermons and quiet times, position us to behold Jesus, and be transformed by the Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:18). We are not to try to fix ourselves. We must learn to give up trying and open deeply to God’s work through the Spirit in our hearts. Galatians 3:1-3 tells us that, as we became Christians by dependence on God to save us, we need to also depend on God to grow us, not our own fortitude to crank it out.

My living by grace was expedited when I got knocked off my feet during my midlife crisis. This was a period of spiritual and physical exhaustion. I was exhausted because I had been largely trying to crank out the Christian life in my own strength. During this time, I discovered a deeper solitude and giving myself permission to enjoy life. I discovered a passion for deep-sea fishing and experienced the joy of catching fish and being with God during the many hours of solitude on the fishing trips. I got to experience God loving me in my weakness. I became more patient with myself, and others during this time. This growth came at just the right time to enable me to be a more attentive and gentle father to my two toddler children.

At the end of this three-year period, I emerged a stronger and more useable Christian. Within two years, God provided me with a promotion at work, and I was elected an elder of our church. However, I still had a long way to go in relying on God’s life to do work, fulfill my responsibilities as an elder and live life at a deep level.

I think we evangelicals have taken a good thing (knowledge of the Word) and exaggerated its importance, while we have downplayed the importance of dependence on the Holy Spirit, life in the body, and self-knowledge for spiritual growth (Ephesians 4:4-16; Proverbs 4:23). I think this is because of the way many of us were raised, which was to be good in our own strength. This made it easy for us to buy into the deception of following biblical principles in our own strength to be good and to grow ourselves spiritually.

The temptation to live by biblical principles in our own fortitude (a moralist) is strong. One major reason is because we can avoid humbling ourselves before God and depending on his grace. In Jeremiah 17:5, God considers a person cursed who habitually tries to be good in his own strength and fails to rely on the Spirit.