Journey into Lightl

I have been dealing with closed doors this summer. I don’t like closed doors, even if God is the one who closes them. For example, it appears that God is leading us to another church after 31 years. This has caused me considerable grief, hurt, and sadness. I love the people at our church and I hate change.

Yet, it seems God is clearly leading Adele and I to leave. He has other works for us to do in other places. At first, I did not fully feel the pain of this closed door because I was so busy. However, a week ago, a ministry I had been heavily involved in ended, and I had time to face the painful emotions deep within. I then developed neck pain, which served as another diversion like busyness did from facing the painful feelings within.

However, in the last few days, I have decided to ignore the neck pain (which I understand to be harmless based on my past history), and focus on the grief I am feeling in the caldron of my soul. Grieving about a closed door is a process and I must be patient, for it does take time. Closed doors often feel to me like rejection, low worth, and not being loved.

However, facing the grief and processing it leads to my acceptance of the closed door. This helps me to develop a positive attitude towards life and not a bitter one. By faith now, but often by sight later, I can thank and praise God for his goodness and grace in closing this door.