Journey into Lightl

Nearly three years ago, I left the church that I had been a member of for 31 years. I had mixed feelings about leaving, but I believed it was a good move. And it was.

What I have been surprised by is my feeling of loss–the loss of relationships. These were my brothers and sisters in living life. They were my family. They were a major part of my support system.

These were the people I had done life with since my kids were toddlers. These were people I had sought to help and be helped by. They made me feel important, loved, needed, guided, and upheld.  I had sought to use my time and abilities to help build the church, and the church had grown from 100 to 2,500.

Now it was gone! My hometown vanished. I was out in the “north forty” of a new church. I was unknown, not needed, and not connected.

At this new church I am learning that relationships take time to build as God connects me to others in his time and in his ways. Now I am gradually establishing bonds with members of the new church through one to one, small group, and corporate activities.

Getting involved in ministry seems to be one of the main ways God is connecting me to this new church. But I still miss the family at the old church. This surprises me.

But should it?

Why does God stress connecting to others? Why is fellowship so important to God?

First of all, what is fellowship? Is it just Christians getting together and talking? Or is it more?

What It Is

Fellowship is connecting to God and with other Christians in such a way as we are able to use our resources to help them as they use their resources to help us. The goal is that we may all grow into more loving people (Ephesians 4:15-16). This means that being a growing Christian is a team effort. It’s not being a lone ranger or a John Wayne.

Fellowship is loving on one another. Jesus said, “Love one another, even as I have loved you, that you love one another” (John 13:34). And what does it look like to love one another?

• Be at peace with one another

• Be devoted to one another

• Build up one another

• Encourage one another

• Accept one another

• Bear one another’s burdens

No wonder I missed the old church! I had lost a lot of support as well as the blessings of helping others.

But how do we fellowship? Are there such things as good fellowship and not so good fellowship?

How to Do It

Larry Crabb, a well-known author on the spiritual life, says that we can all choose to encourage others. By prayerfully considering how to encourage each person and then doing it we can do much to help that person meet the challenges of daily life. And we all need encouragement, especially pastors (Hebrews 10:24).

Another suggestion on how to fellowship is to be real with other people. We need to let them know who we really are. Not what we want them to see, but the good, the bad, and the ugly in us.

Of course, we will need to do this around safe people. Often this can be found in a healthy small group or in some mentoring relationship.

We will ultimately need to depend on God’s love and acceptance of us no matter how bad we are, to overcome the fear of rejection we may have if we open up and let people see the real person we are. If we aren’t authentic, we can block God’s work through others in ministering to us.

A final thought on how to fellowship is to get involved in a church. God has made each of us a body part. We are not the whole body and we need others to live powerfully. We are gifted and designed by God to play specific roles in his Body. Fellowship happens as we play the role we were designed to play to make our church a healthy place to live (Ephesians 4:16).