Journey into Lightl

We all have been rejected for one reason or another. it’s painful isn’t it! Probably the greatest fear I had from childhood was the fear of being rejected. I learned early how bad it felt to be rejected. Why does it hurt so much?

In my case, I believed the lie that I was what people thought I was. If they thought I was a dud, I was a dud. If they thought I was something special, I was something special.

But in recent years, I’ve learned that I will never be rejected- by God anyway. He says to me, “I will never reject you” (Hebrews 13:5). But people can still reject me – but, whose opinion counts the most? I am learning that God’s acceptance of me trumps people’s rejection.

But do people really reject us? Are they even capable of rendering an accurate assessment of us? The answer is no.

Recently, I have been trying to start a small group with people at my new church in which I am not well-known.  I have had four or five refusals so far and only one acceptance. I feel rejected. I feel like they don’t respect me, and I feel challenged to believe that I have a lot to offer- even though God has used me extensively in this ministry for many years. Nevertheless, I feel like quitting sometimes and not putting myself out there to be rejected. But I would be disobeying the Lord if I did.

Why Rejection Is Hurtful

We want to feel accepted and respected. Therefore, it hurts when it seems like we’re not. The truth is, as God’s children, we have nothing to worry about. God has accepted and respected us for all time (Hebrews 10:14).

But we don’t believe this. It doesn’t make sense to our worldly minds. If we aren’t accepted by our peer group, we aren’t acceptable. If we aren’t highly respected by our church, we aren’t highly respected. People become the determiners of our worth – and that is dangerous because it’s a lie.

Many of us fear the opinions of people more than the opinion of God. God warns us that this is not good when he says to us, “The fear of man brings about a snare” (Proverbs 29:25). Certainly God uses the respect and acceptance of people to help us realize how much he accepts us- but not as a substitute for depending on his acceptance.

Because the old thinking is still a part of our lives, we can feel devastated when people reject our offers to serve, befriend, or lead. We believe the old thinking that their approval is necessary for our importance.

How to Face It

When facing rejection, it helps to realize that we will never be rejected.  We can have our qualifications rejected by people, but we are always accepted and special to God (1 Peter 2:9).

When we are hurting, we need to identify the lies that we are believing. In my case, is it true that leading a small group is necessary for fulfilling my calling of helping people connect to God in deeper ways? Or is it true that if I don’t lead a small group I’m not doing important work? Or is it true that if God does not use me to lead a small group now, that he never will? I have identified all three of these beliefs as lies.

A final thought about how to have the courage to face rejection is to focus on doing God’s will. If we discern that he wants us to start a small group, take on a new responsibility at work or cut back on activities outside the home to focus on the family, we need to do it. You may say, “But I will be rejected by people who are important to me. People who I look to to tell me who I am.”

But comfort is not our goal. “Well done, good and faithful servant” is. Rejection hurts. But God says, “Rejection will hurt for awhile, but your obedience to Me is producing for you an eternal reward far greater than the cost of rejection” (2 Corinthians 4:17, paraphrased).