Journey into Lightl

I was frustrated. It was hopeless. The harder I tried the worse things got. Why couldn’t I be like other guys and find the right girl and get married? It’s not that I hadn’t tried. I had dated about 150 different girls in the prior six years. But the relationships never worked out. Many ended after the first date.

Waiting on God

So, when I was challenged to give up the search to focus on developing my new relationship with God, I was relieved. I needed a break. I had felt pressure for many years to get married because nearly all my friends had. But I had grown to question if I had what was required to be happily married.

Therefore, it was easy for me to give the project to God to bring along the right one when I was ready. I was confident that God could do a better job than I had at finding the right one. The original plan was to take a two-year break from dating, although I knew it could be longer. And it was.

Four years later, I still was going nowhere in meeting, courting, and marrying the right one. Had God forgotten about our agreement? I was past thirty now. During this time my focus had become getting to know God better and getting ahead in the ministry organization that I was a part of. However, I still wanted to get married some day if the right one came along.

The Wait is Over

About this time, I was approached by the local leadership of the organization to consider marriage. I thought that this idea was reasonable, but I wasn’t that excited about it. I was more excited about becoming a leader in their organization.

Nevertheless, I began reading books the leaders suggested that would help me gain God’s perspective on courtship and marriage. I found out that God’s perspective on romance and marriage was night and day different from the way I had approached it in the past. I learned that marriage was more a giving thing, not a taking one. I also learned that a wife was not going to take all my problems away. I still needed God.

As I read and discussed these books, I came to realize that God’s ways seemed to make a lot of sense. As a result, I became eager to try some of these ideas out on a real girl.

But I continued to wait for God’s go ahead and to read the suggested books and began to add a number of my own choosing. I would then discuss what I was learning with my mentor to help me to change my thinking, feelings, and actions.

The Journey Begins

Finally, I sensed that I was ready to start dating again after a break of 4 and 1/2 years. But I had a problem. I didn’t know anyone. Despite this, I was able to generate a list of three girls that I knew well enough to ask out on a date.

One girl on the list was Adele, who a friend at work had been trying to get me to date for nearly a year. I was ambivalent about her thinking that she was “stuck up” and not particularly attractive. However, I did agree to an elaborate scheme for me to drive her home from a Halloween party that we both would be at so that I could get to know her better.

The night of the party, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw her. She was beautiful! And then I heard a voice in my head say, “This is the one I have saved for you.” I immediately put the thought out of my mind and proceeded to participate in the Halloween party. However, I stayed focused on where she was and what she was doing that night. As I drove her home I asked if she would be interested in going on a date sometime. Her response was not enthusiastic, but she did say yes.

That night began a long journey with God in which he led and I followed in developing the relationship he wanted me to have with Adele. I didn’t know where the relationship would go. I felt like Abraham when God told him to go but wouldn’t tell him where it would end (Genesis 12:1).

As I look back, God had told me where the relationship was going, but I was too scared to believe it. Adele was the one that he had picked for my wife. Now, it was my job to follow him and trust him to enable me to make it happen.

Next week we will continue to describe this journey with God in facing my fears and insecurities and the other challenges in possessing the land that God had given me (Deuteronomy 1:8).