Growing up, I had a difficult time knowing who I was. I tried to be what got me the most praise and acceptance, even if it didn’t reflect who I was. As a result, I didn’t know myself well and what was right for me. So, when I became adult, I began a search for my identity. I slowly edged away from the belief that I was who I thought others thought me to be.
Many of us spend our lives searching for who we are. Are we loved? Are we important? Are we safe?
We have a variety of ways to answer these questions. But many of them will give us the wrong answers.
Are we loved because someone treats us well? Are we important because we got promoted to a prestigious position? Are we safe because we just passed the annual physical?
We look to circumstances, ourselves and others to give us the answers we seek. But will we find truth there? What happens if someone treats us poorly? Or we don’t get the promotion? Or they find something wrong in the physical that requires surgery? Do these circumstances change who we are?
Our perceived identity will take a beating when we depend on the wrong things to tell us who we are.
A better place to find stability and encouragement is in the Bible. It is there where God tells us we are always important, loved, and accepted because he has given us a new identity if we believe in him (Isaiah 43:4). He is wildly enthusiastic about us, just the way we are!
But do we rely on these truths?
Sadly, many of us don’t. We are suspicious of regarding ourselves this way. It doesn’t make sense because it contradicts our trust in earning this high status. So, we keep pursing an inferior identity based on approval, achievement, and other false ways to answer the question of who we are.
We would think it’s easy to rest in our new identity as deeply loved, respected, and protected. But no. It is not easy. That’s why we are exhorted to “Be diligent to enter that rest” (Hebrews 4:11, NLT) that we will accept our new identity and see ourselves as God sees us.
How much achievement is enough? How much respect from others is necessary to regard ourselves as respectable. And how much control do we need to have over our circumstances to feel safe? These ways never seem to be enough.
So what must we do to cooperate with God in living in this reality? How do we allow God to change our thinking and transform our hearts?
God tells us in Romans 12:2, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” He changes the way we think by replacing the lies we rely on with his truth in the Bible. We cooperate with him when we study, meditate and apply the Bible to our daily lives.
Becoming free of the lies we currently trust is difficult. These lies come from Satan, the world, and ourselves. Paul describes this battle as follows: “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5, NAS).
One of the challenges of doing this is becoming aware of the lies we have depended on for so many years. Trusting in these lies has led us to reject the implications of being God’s children. But we can reach out to the Holy Spirit and he will help us become aware of the lies guiding our thinking and enable us to rest in our true identity (Psalm 139:23-24).
May we grow in accepting God’s viewpoint of us, which is much higher that any identity we could scratch out by our achievements, people’s approval, or positions of power. It won’t be easy. But the rewards are great.
We can at last rest in the peace of being loved by our heavenly Father. We can quit our futile efforts to earn importance in the eyes of everyone and rest in being precious in God’s eyes. And we no longer need to feel inferior, for we have been chosen by God. May we rest in these truths and cease striving.
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