Let’s Be Real!

January 24, 2013 by journeyintolight

Being authentic seems to be important to us today. And it should be! It is spiritually healthy to be real with others and God (Psalm 51:6). Yet, so much of life seems to block us from opening up and being real. We often do not know what being real is.

Real for us is living in the reality of being who God is creating us to be (Ephesians 2:10). Being real comes as we live in the reality that though we are flawed and limited, we are still deeply loved, valued, and accepted by God.

Nevertheless, we fear rejection when we are real. We think we need to impress and receive people’s approval in order to be okay. Because our parents and other important influences did not perfectly meet these deep needs in our development years, we have become skilled at using the world around us to get our deep needs met.

For example, I used school to gain worth and acceptance from my parents. I did not study to be equipped to better function in this world, but to get good grades so that I could feel important and accepted.

The Challenge

What happens over time is that we lose track of who we really are. We forget what our true interests and abilities are, and the grace that makes us special and loved. Instead, we substitute a frantic pursuit of not being real so that we can better get our needs met.

So, we become an engineer because we think that then Dad will give us worth. We may become “nice” because people will think well of us. We leave behind the fact that we may hate engineering, and that our being loved (by God) is not affected by not being liked by everybody.

We become afraid to be real. Instead, we often give power to others to love us, value us, accept us, and keep us safe. But this is not always safe to do. This often requires us to hide and not be real. We choose to present a false self to get our need for approval met from man, rather than from God (John 12:42-43).

However, if we were living in true reality, we would know that God already knows our flaws and sin, and still accepts us. Relying on our acceptance by God is the key to being real with others.

One way we can tell the extent that we are being real is how sensitive we are to the praise and criticism from others. This helps us assess to what extent we have allowed others to define how important, acceptable, and loved we are. Certainly, God uses people to help us realize how much we mean to him. However, people are not a reliable gauge to always depend on to communicate to us our intrinsic worth and acceptance by God.

However, experiencing who we are to God, and being real with others is a process. We are profoundly influenced by how people treat and react to us. All of us have become skilled at leaving God out of our lives. This leads us to use people and things to get our great needs for worth, love and acceptance met.

Becoming a Christian and growing in faith does not automatically cause this over-dependence on people and things to get our needs met to disappear. It is a daily battle to rest in the security of a warm, loving, abiding relationship with God. And it is a daily battle to be real with others.

Nevertheless, being real with others is worth seeking. The alternative is to stay in the turbulent and scary world of using people and other things to give us our importance, acceptability, and safety. Relying on the Spirit enables us to experience a loving relationship with God (Romans 8:13). This reality gives us the power to be real!

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To Listen or Not to Listen

January 12, 2013 by journeyintolight

I have struggled with being a good listener for many years. I have tried hard to listen better. I have also taken a course on how to listen better. Yet, today I still struggle with being a good listener.

Recently, when confronted once again by someone who felt I did not listen well to them, I began to ponder why I struggle in this area. Is it just a matter of bad technique, or could it also be a heart problem? Could there be beliefs down in my heart that keep me from choosing to listen to people?

After pondering this, I concluded that my struggle with listening was not just a matter of bad technique, but also was a heart problem. In these moments, I make choices to focus on other things. Perhaps, I am relying on solving a problem so that I can accomplish something impressive that will make me more important. This is a lie.

Instead, the truth may be that I need to be relying on God’s sovereignty to listen to this person as part of what God is doing in this world. By relying on a lie, I miss the most important thing I could be doing in the moment. Thus, my heart has been betraying my sincere efforts to listen better.

The Bible says to “Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23). This means our capacity to do right, like listening well to others, can be helped or hindered by the lies or truths we depend upon deep within in our hearts. So, any attempt at doing right needs to include getting our hearts on board with the effort.

So, how do we get our hearts on board? First, we need to ask God to reveal to us what is really going on in our hearts as we seek to do good. Only God understands our twisted hearts and motives (Jeremiah 17:9).

Keep in mind that God already knows any ugliness that is going on in your heart. In spite of this, he still loves you, regards you as important and totally accepts you (Isaiah 43:4). So, don’t be afraid of God “flying off the handle” because of the ugliness deep within you.

Then, we need to ask God to help us know what the truth is about the good we seek to do. In my case, is this person talking to me really an interruption and blocking my goal? Or, in God’s sovereignty, is this his goal for me to listen to this person?

If you find that your heart is not relying on the truth, then ask him to transform you so that you are relying on the truth. Your strong efforts to live truth will not be enough (1 Cor. 3:6-7). Ask him what you can do to cooperate with him to change. Let God change your heart so that you can do that good you are seeking to do.

I am convinced that only God can make me a good listener. I will need to cooperate with him by practicing good technique and choosing to follow his guidance. However, for deep change to happen, he must change my heart so that I want to listen because it pleases him and blesses the other person.

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To Sin Is Human, To Forgive Divine

January 5, 2013 by journeyintolight

God has been taking me through a forgiveness process towards someone that has lasted for several years. In that time, this person that I am seeking to forgive has hurt me often, disappointed me and has blocked some important goals of mine. I am angry and disgusted by all of this.

My natural reaction is to pursue an “eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” strategy in getting even. I want justice and I want it now. Jesus describes this strategy in Matthew 5:38. However, God expects more from me.

He not only wants me to not hurt this person, but he also wants me to pardon this person, love them, and do good towards them. What? Are you kidding? This is crazy!

But it is not crazy. We are the primary ones who are hurt when we fail to forgive. However, we cannot truly forgive without divine help.

God does not want us to deny how we have been hurt. He does not want us to repress the anger, hurt and disgust. He wants us to get the poisonous feelings out of us so that we are freer to love. He wants us to be like him. He wants us to love the unlovable (Matthew 5:44).

So, lately I have been journaling how I truly feel and think about the person’s character and behavior. I do this spontaneously and try not to cleanup what comes out on the paper. It is not pretty.

It is even downright embarrassing at times. But this is what is in my heart. God knows it and now I know it better.

I then ask God to change my heart where it needs changing. I ask him to help me to see this person through the eyes of grace and mercy as God sees me (Matthew 18:33). I also pray for what I believe are this person’s most important needs.

As a result, I am seeing a difference. I am starting to actually love this person. I am letting loose of my demand for justice and starting to tap into God’s unlimited mercy and grace towards me. I then pass this mercy and grace on to this other person. I am learning to be like God in forgiving those who have sinned against me.

There are several other things that I could say that may help the forgiveness process. However, just this simple process mentioned above can go a long way in helping you to forgive someone with God’s help. Don’t let Satan trap you in bitterness and unforgiveness. Forgive as you have been forgiven!

My challenge to you today is for you to pray and ask God to bring to mind someone you need to forgive. Then, journal your thoughts and feelings towards this person. Do not worry about how ungodly they are. Pray over what you have written. Ask God to help you to forgive and to change you where he needs to.

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What Makes Us Tick?

December 29, 2012 by journeyintolight

There are many important things about ourselves that we just do not know about. Why not? One reason is that the stuff that makes us tick is often unconscious and buried deep within us. Jeremiah pondered this when he asked the rhetorical question about the heart, “Who can understand it?”

One reason is that from the day we were born, we have been trained to live life in ungodly ways. The reasons why we did what we did made sense to us as children. But now, they often do not. Now, we often do not understand what makes us tick.

For example, I was trained as a child to get good grades to feel important and loved. I got praise, avoided being criticized, and got respectful looks from my dad when I brought home a good report card.

As a result, I was trained to pursue achievement to feel worth and love. Some of this I brought into my adult world. Except the adult world did not always reward me the way I got rewarded as a child. Often in the adult world no good deed goes unpunished. Also, “The race does not always go to the swiftest” (Eccl. 9:11).

Nevertheless, I had been trained to find worth and love in doing good deeds and winning races. If I had continued in not knowing what made me tick, I would have likely beat my brains out trying to do good and win races for all the wrong reasons. Knowing that I tend to be this way has helped me to avoid the pitfalls of despair and workaholism.

We may find it hard to believe that what we thought was true as a child is what we still think is true as an adult. Even when the Bible clearly teaches otherwise, we can stubbornly cling to childish dependencies and “truths.” They do not automatically go away even when we become Christians. They have become so much a part of us that we are largely unaware of them.

This is dangerous. Someone once said, “It is not my problems I know about that scare me. It’s the ones I don’t know about.“ You and I have many lies we believe and wrong dependencies that rob us of living the abundant life that God promises (John 10:10).

Many times I have heard people dismiss the value of knowing themselves as “psychobabble” or “navel-gazing.” Yet, we cannot cooperate with God to solve a problem that we do not know exists. Knowing what makes us tick is a vital step in living in the glorious truths of God’s Word and not just knowing them (James 1:22)

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The Fear of Failure

December 22, 2012 by journeyintolight

Many of us will not try to do certain projects or responsibilities for fear that we will fail. So, we tend to only do a project or take on a responsibility that we are pretty sure that we will succeed in doing. Many of these activities are ones that we are familiar with and know we can do reasonably well.

As a result, we often become limited in our willingness to learn new skills and new ways of doing things. We become like old and foolish kings who no longer know how to receive instruction (Eccl. 4:13). So, why are we so afraid to fail?

The sad truth is that many of have drunk the cool aid that tells us that our failure decreases us as a person. We often feel inadequate, unimportant and a loser in general when we fail in some specific effort. So, we stick with the familiar to avoid failure.

However, as Christians, we learn that our failure does not decrease how important we are to God. So what if people think we are a loser? God does not (1 Peter 2:9). His opinion is the only one that counts.

Sure failure hurts. It always does and always will. Failure to meet our expectations and the expectations of others will often have painful consequences.

Yet, those consequences do not need to include the belief that we are losers and not important. We are important! This will never change no matter how often we fail as far as God is concerned (Luke 12:7).

I have been testing living in this reality more in the last few years. This is the reality that I do not need to really fear failure. I do not need to shy away from attempting to pursue over-my-head goals for fear of failure. If God seems to be leading, that is enough reason to pursue them. God will not think less of me for trying and failing.

As a result, I have been willing to risk starting a writing ministry in the last couple of years despite having little experience or education for it. Many times I have felt like a loser doing this ministry. Many times I felt like I must be crazy for trying and feeling so bad at the results. Many times I have had to recall that I am not decreased as a person to God by my failures.

For some of us, we have taken decades to get the way we are. We have been drinking the cool aid for a long time that failure is something big to fear, something that can be devastating. So, we need to be patient with ourselves.

It will take time before we will become intelligent and bold risk-takers. It will take time for our deep beliefs and feelings to change. In the meantime, we still need to act on the truth that failure does not hurt us with God, even when it feels like it does.

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Let Go and Let God

December 15, 2012 by journeyintolight

I am sure you have heard the statement, “Let go and let God.” It sounds wise and something we should strive to do. However, do you really want to do this?

We have many good reasons to not let go and to let God. We have inherited a nature and have been trained in not letting God get his hands on our life. Yes, I am talking about us Christians.

We have done pretty well for ourselves running our own life. In many areas we have become quite skilled at muscling God out of our lives and doing it our way. In fact, we have made it a lifelong habit of making things happen our way and in our time. It works! Why change?

Or has it worked?

Has it worked if we have reduced our faith down to following biblical principles that we can do in our own strength? Has it work if we have created a watered down Christianity to avoid letting God take us on a supernatural journey? Has it work if we have missed a journey of living an exciting and godly life that makes a lasting impact on this world.

Most of us have relied on ourselves to control our world for a long time. We like it this way. It feeds our pride. We feel safe most of the time. Yet, God wants us to let go of control and let him control our lives for our good.

I think often failure after failure can help us to let go of our control. This has certainly been true in my life. Only then will many of us become like children and allow our heavenly Father to help us.

Letting go and letting God can only happen as we rid ourselves of lifelong beliefs that support our controlling behavior. One belief is that that we know best what to do and how to do it. This needs to be replaced with God knows best and will lead us to live this best (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Mere exhortation to let God have his way with us is not going to cut it. Mere will power to do this right thing will not overcome the deep inertia we have to changing. No, we need to invite the Spirit to transform us. He needs to make children out of us. We can no longer be proud adults to let go and let God.

So, I challenge you to let go and let God help you with a challenge you have today. Ask him to help you identify what that challenge is. Then ask him to help you with that challenge. What happened? Please let me know.

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Hearing the Voice of God

December 8, 2012 by journeyintolight

I have sought to hear the voice of God over the years to determine his will regarding many big decisions. “God, is it your will to marry Adele?” “Lord, do you want me to be an elder?” “God, which church should I go to?”

I have used the following principles hundreds of times in the last forty years to hear God’s voice:

  • What biblical principles apply?
  • What does wise counsel say?
  • Do I have peace about the decision?
  • Which direction do the circumstances seem to be pointing?
  • Which option do I desire the most?
  • What are the pros and cons?

I am reasonably confident that in almost all instances I have been able to discern God’s voice on which direction to go. However, I do not have that same confidence when it comes to the little decisions I make everyday.

In the last several years, I have grown to realize that what God wants from me is my companionship throughout the day. He wants me to talk to him, but he also wants me to listen to him as well. He really wants to do life with me.

If this is so, then you need to ask yourself how you can do life with him if you do not listen to him? Sure, you may listen to him in the big decisions of life that you seek his guidance on. But what about the big decisions that you neglect to seek him on? What about listening to him about other things that he may want to speak to you about today?

It is amazing that he wants more from us than just following the orders of a commander.  He also wants an intimate relationship with us. He wants to talk to us. Are we listening?

I have grown over the last several years in my ability to hear God’s voice in daily life. It has not been easy because I have often clung to tradition, do lists, and old habits that make me think I do not need to hear his voice. However, as I have grown in living life with God, I realize more than ever how much I need to continue to grow in my skill to hear his voice.

One big reason to hear God’s voice is so we do not get misled or deceived by other voices. Our voice can be one of these. Satan’s voice can be another and all the people he uses to lie and lead us in the wrong direction. Therefore, we need to become good discerners of the voice of God.

One practice that helps me hear God’s voice is silence. I can often hear God’s voice when I am quiet. I have to work at being quiet by turning off the TV and other distractions. Then, I sit for several minutes listening for God’s quiet voice in my thoughts and impressions.

Another practice I am using more is to write portions of Scripture as if God were speaking to me personally through that passage. This practice combines meditation on the Word, application, and journaling. God speaks to me in profound ways through this practice.

So my challenges to you are two. First, ask God to bring to your mind why it would be good to hear his voice throughout the day. The second challenge is to ask him one thing you could do today to better listen to him. Please let me know what he said.

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To Obey is Better than Success

December 1, 2012 by journeyintolight

We are a people who love success. We are obsessed with it. We love winners! Sometimes we are tempted to be successful at any cost. We sometimes forget the idea that it is not about winning or losing, but how we play the game.

Recently, I think I became too focused on results in my ministry. The results were meager and I wanted to quit. I thought that perhaps the lack of results was God’s will to quit.

So, I prayed to God and meditated on Scripture. However, he impressed on me that he did not want me to quit. He wanted me to keep going.

This reminded me of the prophet, Jeremiah. God gave him a ministry without much success. Israel did not pay attention to Jeremiah’s messages from God. As a result, he was called, “The Weeping Prophet.”

If I continue in this ministry, like Jeremiah, I may be facing a lot of obeying without much success. This is painful! I often use success as a measure of my worth.

Without success, I often feel a loss of worth. However, my worth is great and fixed in God’s eyes (Isaiah 43:4). Nevertheless, the lack of success makes it hard to live in this reality.

Therefore, I think it is helpful for me and for you to know and remember the following truths about obeying God versus success.

  • God’s definition of success is often different from ours (Isaiah 55:8-9)
  • We always succeed when we obey  (1 Corinthians 15:58)
  • Obeying God will always have a greater reward than success  (1 Corinthians 3:10-15)
  • Success will never increase our worth (Ephesians 1:3-14)

May I  challenge to you today to ask God to show you where you may be pursuing success at the expense of obeying him. Ask him to show you what to do about it.

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About Spiritual Growth

November 24, 2012 by journeyintolight

Many of us desire and strive to be more godly. We want to be more loving, and to experience his power and love. Many of us work hard at it, going to church, doing Bible studies, and trying to live our lives by biblical principles. So, how is it working for you?

How you answer this question depends a lot on how much you are aware of the spiritual condition of your heart. I know for me that for years I assumed that if I did the right things, I would grow automatically. I thought focusing on having quiet times, memorizing Scriptures, and making applications would do the trick and I would grow. The truth is, I did to some extent!

However, to a large extent I did not. Deep issues within me were not getting transformed. One of these issues was depending too much on impressing some people to regard myself as acceptable. Another was not feeling important unless I was achieving up to my standards. I finally became aware that this was ungodly and I needed to be changed.

Once we become aware of the deeper level of ungodliness in us, we are tempted to try harder. Another strategy is to repress it and forget about it. A much better strategy is to allow God to make us aware of our ungodliness, face it, and be transformed by his Spirit. We then grow in ways we never thought possible.

You must not be deceived into thinking that you grow yourself spiritually. You do not. Your job is to cooperate with God.

The Holy Spirit is who grows you. He uses your Bible studies, quiet times and prayers, but by yourself you cannot grow yourself an inch. You need to realize that God wants to grow you in your attitudes, motives, and in what you rely on. Your behavior will take care of itself if your heart is right.

So, my brothers and sisters, I leave you with a challenge. Ask God to show you right now a barrier in your heart that is hindering the Spirit from transforming you. Wait a minute or two and see what he brings to mind. What did he say?

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Commit to be Trained

November 21, 2012 by journeyintolight

I believe that most of us we would like to think that all it takes to be fixed or to grow is to hear a good sermon or read a good book. We do not like the idea that we may also need to be trained. Training sounds like a lot of work.

Yet, the Bible says that we need to be trained for the sake of godliness (I Timothy 4:7). Why is training necessary? One big reason is that we have already been trained in many ways to be ungodly. We need to be retrained to let God into our hearts to transform us.

Often our childhood homes, schools, religion, and society have trained us to live life without God. As a result, we often try to be good in our own strength. However, this training will not lead to godliness.

We often stop at knowing the truth because we think that once we know the rules, we can do them. However, if we are honest, we know we cannot do them. If we are dishonest, we often reduce godliness down to outward behavior and ignore the messy world of the heart.

We need to be retrained to face painful truths about our sins and weaknesses deep within, and not try to repress them. We need to be retrained in how to experience God’s love and acceptance of us despite his awareness of our sins and flaws. He requires our cooperation for these to happen.

One of the big ways we can be trained and retrained to be godly is to practice spiritual disciplines. I know this can sound cold and hard to some. Yet, disciplines are not ends in themselves, but means for us to experience God’s love and grace. They are the means for us living the truths of the Bible and not just knowing them.

We have a lot of bad habits that God would like to purge out of us. We also have many false ideas about life and ourselves. He wants to give us the power to cast out this darkness within us and to live in the light of the wonderful person he has made each of us to be (Ephesians 4:22-24). Ask him to show you what this darkness is in you and for the power to put it off and to put on his truth. This will never happen by superficial knowing, but only by learning to rely on his truths for life and ministry.

Training can help you to rely on his truths and not stop at just knowing truths through a sermon or a good book. Quiet times, meditation on the Word, praying the Scriptures, Scripture memory, and silence are some of the key disciplines that God is using in my life these days to transform me. Commit yourself to be trained as well. Ask God what unique set of disciplines he wants you to practice to cooperate with him. Commit yourself to live in the reality that God always loves, values and accepts you, no matter what happens. Commit yourself to be trained!

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