When God Says No

May 30, 2015 by journeyintolight

Yesterday morning, God said no to me a couple of times regarding being involved in specific ministries. I wanted to do these ministries because I enjoyed them and thought I had something to offer. But God said no.

He said no to mentoring a young med student in courting a girl. He also said no to mentoring a group of young Christians in their faith. He spoke to me through circumstances and counsel.

But why would he say no to me? Why does he say no to us when we want to do good things?

Reasons He May Say No

One reason he may say no is to make us humble. His no helps us realize that we have limits and that God has the ultimate say about our life. This can help keep us from pride, arrogance, and pretense.

Another reason he says no is to give us something better later. In my life, God’s noes have resulted in a better wife, a better church, a better career, and a better character. But at the times of the noes, I was hurt and sometimes devastated.

An unknown confederate soldier captures this idea well in the following statement on prayer:

“I asked God for strength that I might achieve. 
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. 
I asked for health that I might do greater things. 
I was given infirmity that I might do better things. 
I asked for riches that I might be happy. 
I was given poverty that I might be wise. 
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. 
I was given life that I might enjoy all things. 
I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. 
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.”

How We Can Respond To His No

One important thing we can do is to look to his promise – “I will cause all things to work together for good for you” (Romans 8:28, paraphrased). We may not have any idea what the good is, but we can rely on the fact that he has something better in mind.

God said no to Paul when he pleaded with him to take away his “thorn in the flesh.” God had something better for Paul – godliness. God told him, “My power works best in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NLT).

Another we can do is to make the most of the no. Paul wanted to go to heaven long before his time, but God said no. However, he decided to make the best out of the no by working hard to help Christians grow in faith while he was still here (Philippians 1).

A similar thing happened to me nearly two years ago. I had just awoken from major heart surgery in which I had almost died. In that moment, he impressed upon me the following words:

“I’m not letting you into heaven now, because I’m not done with you. I still have things I want to do in you and through you.”

It would have been easy for me to crossover into a world of joy, peace and painlessness forever. But God said no.

May we learn to accept God’s no. He has our best interest at heart. His no today will lead to a better yes tomorrow as we continue to follow him (Romans 8:28).

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Is Your Life Supernatural?

May 22, 2015 by journeyintolight

The answer to this question is “No” for many of us. We tend to be moral people who try to live up to the standards of goodness and decency.

But are we supernatural? Or, can our life be explained by sheer human effort and gifting?

For example, I was trained from childhood that if I were to become important, loved, and respected, I had to work hard and maybe I would get it. I was not trained by my home, school, and society that I could get these things by just being me. Paraphrasing a commercial, ”I became important the old-fashion way, I earned it.”

But I am becoming more supernatural in this area. I am daring to allow God’s perspective to become mine. This means that I don’t need to earn respect. I already have it. “You are precious, you are honored, and I love you” (Isaiah 43:4), says God.

This is supernatural. This helps free me from my natural dependency to rely too much on flawed people to give me the importance, love and respect I desperately need.

So, how can we know if our life is supernatural?

How We Can Know

One way is to look at the fruit. As Jesus said, “You will know them by their fruits” (Matthew 7:16). We can examine our life and determine if love and peace are deep within.

If these fruits are there, our life is probably supernatural.

Are we able to forgive those who have hurt us? Do we have the courage to say what we believe even in the face of disapproval from people we respect? Can we claim being a Christian even if we know that the consequence is being beheaded, as the 21 Egyptian Coptic Christians did?

If we can do these things, our life is probably supernatural.

If we can look at the homes in which we were raised, the values of our society, and the bad habits from our past and see a big difference, our life is probably supernatural.

For example, my home growing up was not very loving, as my parents’ homes weren’t. I vowed that my home was going to be different for my kids. It was going to break the cycle.

As I look back, our home was largely a loving home for my kids. Mistakes and sins were made, but both kids grew up to be reasonably secure and knowing that they were loved by their parents and God.

Where I see the supernatural the most, however, is in the loving home of my grandkids. Their home is supernatural. Sheer natural effort can’t explain it. The cycle is being broken – supernaturally.

How We Can Experience It

The most important thing in order to live supernaturally is to allow the Holy Spirit to live through us. “Depend on the Holy Spirit and then our life will become supernatural” (Galatians 5:16, paraphrased).

But how do we depend on the Holy Spirit to live through us and make our life supernatural?

Courage, obedience, trust, and perseverance are key ingredients for our lives changing from the natural to the supernatural.

  • It’s supernatural to trust in the goodness of an unseen God when great pain awaits us if he doesn’t come through.
  • It’s supernatural to follow the voice of the Lord to go a different way when the common path gets us approval.
  • It’s supernatural to trust in a God we don’t understand more than in our own wits and wisdom.
  • And finally, it’s supernatural to continue on the hard road of following God instead of quitting and taking an easier path.

But God can and will help us to have the courage, obedience, trust, and perseverance to do these things, if we ask and rely on him.

Let us not be one of “those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat,” as President Teddy Roosevelt described people who were not willing to meet the challenges of life. May we meet perhaps the greatest challenge of our life by allowing God to transform our life from the natural to the supernatural.

Posted in The Holy Spirit | 1 Comment »

The Problem With Suffering

May 18, 2015 by journeyintolight

In the last few days, I’ve become aware of the sufferings of several older friends and relatives. One just got diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, a diagnosis that he was dreading to hear. Another was diagnosed with Stage 3 rectal cancer and starts chemotherapy this week – he is handling it well, but his wife is experiencing considerable anxiety.

Then a friend shared his concern about his wife who is slipping into dementia and is refusing to eat.

Even younger people I talked to were suffering. One received a diagnosis this week of Lyme’s disease and another was struggling with an undiagnosed pain that often keeps him standing all day to get his office work done because it hurts too much to sit. This has been going on for over a year.

What is going on here? I felt depressed over these sufferings and scared that they could happen to me. If God is good, why does he allow so much suffering?

Why?

The truth is we don’t know exactly why. Unless God specifically tells us, why we suffer belongs to the secrets things of God. “The LORD our God has secrets known to no one” (Deuteronomy 29:29.)

However, a few things we know. These include:

  • The pain helps us look forward to a few years from now when we will never suffer again (Revelations 21:4).
  • Suffering produces endurance and makes us stronger Christians (Romans 5:3-5).
  • The difficulties develop our reliance on God who enables us to overcome sufferings that would otherwise crush us (Isaiah 43:2).
  • Suffering helps us to experience God’s comfort, which helps us to comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3-7).
  • Suffering jars us out of our comfort zones and opens us up to a deeper relationship with God (Psalm 119:71).
  • Suffering humbles us and gives us opportunities to allow God to make us stronger (2 Corinthians 12:8-10).

So, how are we supposed to respond to the daily dribble of difficulties and sufferings?

How To Deal With Suffering

First of all, it’s a matter of perspective. How does six years of pain compare to 6,000,000,000 years of painlessness? “Why”, you say, “It’s nothing.“ So God says the same thing (Romans 8:18).

Another thing that is helpful in facing suffering is to accept it. M. Scott Peck, a Christian psychologist and author, has a quote that is one of my favorites:

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult – once we truly understand and accept it – then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

Difficulties have often frustrated me. “This should not be!” I say to myself. “This is wrong! God where are you?”

But there isn’t anything wrong – Life is difficult because we live in a world in rebellion against God. Our suffering is a natural consequence.

A final thought about dealing with suffering is to face it. We love to run from our pain. We take painkillers, stay busy, and repress our hurt.

Instead, we need to listen to the pain and learn from it. God often uses pain to get our attention. He wants us to change and deal with our problems his way.

May we grow to accept the benefits of our suffering. May we accept what we can’t change and embrace it. Let’s allow God to use suffering to do his good work in our heart.

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Should We Seek Happiness?

May 8, 2015 by journeyintolight

I think we all long to be happy. We want things to turn out so that we feel good. We want to enjoy life, and anything that blocks getting what we want is bad.

This week I was reading a book about people who have major flaws in their character and, as a result, hurt people around them. It wasn’t hard to see three people from my past that did this to me.

My first response was anger at God for putting these people in my life. “What were you thinking God? Aren’t you supposed to love me? What good thing could you possibly bring from the wounds they did to me?”

These people robbed me of a lot of happiness. How much happier I could have been if they had been different! But they weren’t.

And so goes life. “For man is born for trouble, as sparks fly upward” (Job 5:7). God warns us that life is often not happy. Our days are full of trouble.

Happiness depends on good happenings. So, how can we be happy when so many of our happenings aren’t happy?

God says a better goal for us is contentment. Contentment is wanting what we get (Hebrews 13:5). In contrast, happiness is getting what we want.

When we accept that God is the one who watches out for us, we trust that whatever bad things happened to us really had good purposes buried in them – although we may never understand what they were (Proverbs 3:5-6).

What Contentment is

The dictionary defines contentment as “the state of being mentally and emotionally satisfied with things as they are.” “As they are? How can we be satisfied with physical pain we experience everyday!” we may say to God.

It’s rare to find anyone who is deeply content with his or her life. We are a frustrated people. We worry, desire, fret, and act impatiently. How do we calm and quiet our self, like a weaned child with its mother – and be content (Psalm 131:2, paraphrased)?

How We Can Become More Content

The only way we can become more content is to grow spiritually. Otherwise, we stay the same and are frustrated by life and all the bad things that happen to us. “Human desire is never satisfied” (Proverbs 27:20, NLT).

But how do we grow spiritually?

One thing Paul did was to consider that the hurts of life would be used by God to make him godlier than he would have been without them happening. Listen to him – “I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake, for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

These bad things drove him to God in desperation. He allowed God to help him in ways he never would have if he were complacent with the circumstances of life.

Paul further explains his secret to contentment. “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation… I can do it by depending on God’s strength” (Philippians 4:12-13, paraphrased).

So, what are we going to do – seek happiness in our human strength and fail? Or, seek contentment through depending on God’s help and growing spiritually? I choose seeking contentment.

Posted in Rest | Leave a Comment »

How Do We Change?

May 1, 2015 by journeyintolight

My wife recently told me that one of the things that attracted her to me was my willingness to share my deepest thoughts and secrets with her. In prior relationships, I had focused on impressing the girl, instead of being myself and focusing on her. The girl never got to know the real me. And eventually the relationship died.

I didn’t want that to happen again. So, I let her know the real me – and she loved it.

Now, after 38 years of marriage, she is becoming increasingly vocal about me returning the favor and growing in discovering the real her. She wants me to listen more to what is going on in her life, thoughts, and feelings.

But after 38 years can I change? How do I change bad habits of listening and relating? Is it a matter of better listening technique or do I need to become a more loving person?

I want to change, but how?

False Ways

We can make mistakes when we try to change. One mistake is to try to change all by our self. True change is of the heart, not just behavior (Proverbs 4:23). Our heart is largely formed in childhood and it doesn’t change easily.

Only with God’s help can our heart change. “I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart” (Ezekiel 36:26, NLT). Our behavior changes as God gradually changes our heart.

Another mistake we can make is to beat our self up when we fail to change. God doesn’t. Why should we? He is a loving dad who continues to forgive, encourage, and believe in us (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

A third mistake we can make is to do nothing. Either we think we can’t change at all or we think that God has to do all. What about a partnership? God leads and empowers and we follow in working together in changing.

Ways That Work

One thing that is helpful in changing is to notice small improvements. Change is often slow. Sometimes it seems like we aren’t changing. But we can ask God to open our eyes to the progress that we are making.

Another thing that is helpful is to expect to change. God says, “You can change with my help” (Philippians 4:13, paraphrased). Our adequacy comes from him and he ultimately bears the responsibility for our change as we do what he leads us to do (2 Corinthians 3:5).

A final thought about change is to know what change looks like. By reading the Bible and meditating on the God that it reveals, we see the beautiful life that he wants for each of his children.

“All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right” (2 Timothy 3:16, NLT).

Posted in Spiritual Growth | 2 Comments »

Accepting What Can’t Be Changed

April 25, 2015 by journeyintolight

I seem to have a hard time accepting things I can’t change. I keep rehashing the past to try to change it so that today will be different.

What I have a hard time accepting is that I can’t change the past. What’s happened has happened and I need to accept it.

I had a recent ministry and a childhood home that I wish had been different. But it wasn’t. Now I need to accept the past that I can’t change, learn from it, and move on. No amount of hindsight and rehashing will change it. Otherwise, I will remain stuck in my grief, hurt, and anger. I will continue to heal as I accept what I can’t change, pardon the guilty, and expect that God will eventually bring good from it.

Why It’s So Hard

I think one of the big reasons that we don’t accept what we can’t change is that we want the past to be different. We want to call the shots. We get angry when God works or allows things to go differently. Dang it! We want to be God!

For example, when we’re hurt, we often want to take the law into our own hands and hurt those who hurt us. But God says, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay” (Romans 12:19).

This makes it hard to accept the hurt because God doesn’t want us to overcome evil with evil. Instead, he wants us to overcome it with good (Romans 12:21).

Another reason it’s hard to accept hard truth is that we are immature. We still harbor fantasies of greatness and grandiosity that run up against hard facts that we can’t change. We have limits on our I.Q., opportunities, and energy that we often refuse to accept because they interfere with our dreams of pleasure and ego.

Another reason we fail to accept what we can’t change is that daily reality is not what we want it to be. For example, it’s hard to accept the fact that without God, we can do NOTHING of eternal value (John 15:5).

But we don’t like that truth. We love living the fantasy of being the Captain of our Ship, the Master of our Destiny. It feels good! But it’s a lie.

Can we accept what we can’t change, that we need God to succeed in life? Or will we stay stuck in feeling good but deceiving our self by a whirlwind of activity that is a waste of time (1 Corinthians 3:11-15)?

What a sad result for failing to accept what we can’t change.

What’s Helpful

So, what would help us to accept what we can’t change?

One thing that is helpful is to know that our circumstances were allowed by God – and he has promised to work them for good. Rather than viewing the pain of the past with anger and regret, accept it and expect God to bring good from it.

Paul rejoiced in his painful situations because he knew that they would bring him closer to God. “Therefore, I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10).

Would we be who we are today without some of those things we’d love to change?

Another thing we can do is to avoid comparisons. For example, it would’ve been nice if my childhood home had been as loving as my son and daughter-in-law’s home is that they are creating for their kids. But it wasn’t – and that will never change. I need to get over it. I need to grieve the past, forgive who needs forgiveness, rejoice in the good, and make lemonade out of lemons.

A final thought is that painlessness has never been God’s goal for us – godliness has. God says, “Better to be godly than comfortable and immature” (Proverbs 15:16, paraphrased). As we move forward in life, may we use the Serenity Prayer to accept what we can’t change.

The Serenity Prayer 

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.  

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Will We Ever Learn?

April 17, 2015 by journeyintolight

I was talking to a friend a few days ago. I asked him how it was going. He said that it wasn’t going good. He said that he thought that he had learned how to deal with anxiety, but for the last few mornings he had awakened with his heart pounding from fear. He said that he seemed to be anxious about his work, family, ministry, and whatever else was going on. He knew what he needed to do, but it didn’t seem to be working yet. He wondered if he would ever learn.

I assured him that I knew how he felt. I too was dealing with a problem that I thought I had learned how to handle.

I have a life-long habit of stuffing negative feelings. This is not good. I need to resolve the issues that give birth to the feelings and also express the feelings.

When I don’t do that, I often get body pains. I have had backaches, neck aches, toothaches, hand pains, and finger pains, all resulting from stuffed feelings like anger, hurt, grief, fear, and sadness.

I know that this is true, because the pain has gone away at least 20 times in the last seven years, as I have applied techniques that I learned that assume the pain is being driven by emotions. This chronic pain has ranged from a few days to three years. No doctor was able to get rid of the pain.

But now I have back pain again, which two doctors are clueless about what is causing it. From what I’ve learned, it’s due to stuffed anger.

So what’s going on? Will I ever learn how to deal with my feelings so that pain never comes back?

Why It’s So Hard

The sad truth is that it’s hard to change. The Bible teaches us, “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). This means that the way we were trained from childhood will tend to be the way we deal with our issues as adults, long after we have learned to do it better.

God knows this. He says, “Preach the Word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction (2 Timothy 4:2). And, “My children, with whom I am again in labor until Christ is formed in you” (Galatians 4:19).

How We Learn

We learn better ways of dealing with life by being retrained. Not just learning about doing better, but actually doing better as a habit – which can be hard work.

We often don’t get it the first time — or the second, or the 20th time. Old habits die hard.

Jesus knew this when he was training his disciples. He does a miracle and feeds 5,000 with five loaves of bread. Then he does another miracle and feeds 4,000 with seven loaves of bread. But later, the disciples worried about having enough to eat (Mark 8). They still didn’t get it.

So, we can expect to have to revisit the challenges of our past–with one twist. In some ways the challenges will often be harder. God seems to peel away our old ways layer by layer.

In my case, the pain this time is in an area where it’s never been before. And my capacity to ignore a physical source is diminishing as I continue to age.

But God is relentless. He doesn’t give up easily, if ever. We shouldn’t either.

As David grew in faith and skill, he was prepared to take on Goliath (1 Samuel 17). As we grow in our faith and skill to deal with our challenges, we will become more useable and like him.

So, as we revisit challenges that we thought we had already learned how to handle, may we remember that it’s hard to change deeply. Also, our challenges often will have new challenges within it. But this is God’s process to transform us gradually into godlier people, “from glory to glory” (2 Corinthians 3:18).

 

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Sowing In Tears

April 8, 2015 by journeyintolight

In my desire to be motivated and grow as a writer, I attended a Christian writers conference last week. In one of the workshops, the leader gave us a homework assignment to ask God what he thought of our writing.

This was a little scary. It was kind of like getting a report card from God. But I did ask him, and he did respond.

He indicated that although my writing was very good, I was in a season of sowing in tears. This means a lot of work without many results.

Sounds depressing doesn’t it. But he assured me that he would help me through this season, including helping me become a better writer. He also indicated that in his time there would be considerable results.

But I have been trained to misuse results to determine God’s direction, my worth, or the worth of what I am doing. I have often regarded low results as an indicator of not being in God’s will, not being important, or a waste of time.

Therefore, little results are painful for me.

So, is it worth it to continue to sow in tears? Wouldn’t it be better to do something else less painful that has a bigger immediate payoff?

The answer is “No.”

Why Do It

God has called all of us to live by faith. “We walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). But what does this mean?

It means that we follow God’s will no matter what. No matter the pain and no matter how ridiculous it may seem, we follow what God is leading us to do.

We are to lean hard on his promised support, not on our often failing strength, to endure and thrive in seasons of sowing in tears.

We need to remember that our efforts are not in vain if God has led us to do it. God says to us, “Be steadfast, immovable, always doing what I want you to do, knowing that your hard work is not in vain, if I have led you to do it” (1 Corinthians 15:58, paraphrased).

And can we really know what the results are as God sees them? Can numbers adequately measure the work of God?

I have heard about a missionary who spent 50 years in a foreign land without one convert. Yet, time has shown that although the missionary never saw the results, there was a great spiritual harvest after the missionary was gone.

How To Do It

So, how do we persevere and not give up when God wants us to sow in tears?

One thing that can encourage us is that we will eventually reap. If we do as God leads, in dependence on him and for his purposes we shall reap a harvest of blessings. “So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up” (Galatians 6:9, NLT).

Life can be very discouraging when we have little to show for our efforts. But our eye needs to stay on our Father who smiles on us as we look to him for strength to do as he leads in our season of sowing in tears (Isaiah 26:3).

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Why Don’t We Talk to God More?

March 20, 2015 by journeyintolight

I ‘ve never met a person who thought they talked to God enough. Why don’t we? I suppose it stems from our desire and habit of living life without God’s help.

But In the last ten years, I have grown in my desire and capacity to pray and talk to God more. Why? Probably the biggest reason is that I know better how much I need his help to handle life’s challenges.

For example, as of yesterday, I am facing a wait on the results of tests to determine why my chest x-ray looked suspicious. Was it just scar tissue or was it something else the doctors saw. Why should I worry? I’m going to heaven no matter what.

But I still feel scared. How can talking to God help me deal with this?

This is how. Last night I asked God to give me some words to live by–so I could get a good night of sleep. The verse that came to mind was, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). Clinging to these promises, I slept well last night.

Why Talk to God More?

There are many reasons to talk to God more–the following are three of the most important:

The first one is that we may grow into a more intimate relationship with him. He created us for intimacy. He loves us and created us for his purposes and pleasure. He enjoys it when we talk to him.

Another reason to talk to God more is so he can help us handle life. We were not meant to handle our problems alone. We are only fooling our self if we think we can do a better job alone than with God’s help. “Cast your burdens upon the Lord, and he will sustain you” (Psalm 62:8).

A third important reason to talk to God more is to change the world. God says,

“The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. Elijah was a man with a nature like [yours], and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months” (James 5:16-17, NIV).

I assume you are like me and would like to have a better world to live in. This could be a world with better government, less disease, and more people finding purpose to life. If God can use the prayers of Elijah to bring about a drought that lasted three and one-half years, and controls the decisions of presidents (Proverbs 21:1), he can certainly use our prayers to change the world.

How Do We Talk to God More?

Talking to God more is not the problem, but is a symptom of the problem. Not praying much is not just a weakness but reveals our desire to shut God out of our lives and our lack of confidence that he will help us if we did ask him. To talk more to God, we need God to change us so that we rely more on the truth that “apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

We also need perseverance in talking to God. He doesn’t always answer us the first time. He wants us to keep asking until we get a clear “Yes, “No,” or “Wait.” (Matthew 7:7).

Finally, we need God to show us what we are truly depending on to make life work. Is it our own wisdom and fortitude? Is it our managerial job we worked so hard to get and keep? Or is it good circumstances that usually come our way?

Do these things keep us from talking to God to make life work? Only God really knows, but we can ask him to reveal our heart to us and he will (Psalm 139:23-24). And may we have the grace to realize that God can do a better job than these idols in meeting our needs.

May the scales fall from our eyes and we realize how much God wants to bless and empower our lives, if we would only talk more to him. The writer of the book of Hebrews says,

“Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need” (Hebrews 4:16, NIV).

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Fellowship is Important

March 7, 2015 by journeyintolight

Nearly three years ago, I left the church that I had been a member of for 31 years. I had mixed feelings about leaving, but I believed it was a good move. And it was.

What I have been surprised by is my feeling of loss–the loss of relationships. These were my brothers and sisters in living life. They were my family. They were a major part of my support system.

These were the people I had done life with since my kids were toddlers. These were people I had sought to help and be helped by. They made me feel important, loved, needed, guided, and upheld.  I had sought to use my time and abilities to help build the church, and the church had grown from 100 to 2,500.

Now it was gone! My hometown vanished. I was out in the “north forty” of a new church. I was unknown, not needed, and not connected.

At this new church I am learning that relationships take time to build as God connects me to others in his time and in his ways. Now I am gradually establishing bonds with members of the new church through one to one, small group, and corporate activities.

Getting involved in ministry seems to be one of the main ways God is connecting me to this new church. But I still miss the family at the old church. This surprises me.

But should it?

Why does God stress connecting to others? Why is fellowship so important to God?

First of all, what is fellowship? Is it just Christians getting together and talking? Or is it more?

What It Is

Fellowship is connecting to God and with other Christians in such a way as we are able to use our resources to help them as they use their resources to help us. The goal is that we may all grow into more loving people (Ephesians 4:15-16). This means that being a growing Christian is a team effort. It’s not being a lone ranger or a John Wayne.

Fellowship is loving on one another. Jesus said, “Love one another, even as I have loved you, that you love one another” (John 13:34). And what does it look like to love one another?

  • Be at peace with one another
  • Be devoted to one another
  • Build up one another
  • Encourage one another
  • Accept one another
  • Bear one another’s burdens

No wonder I missed the old church! I had lost a lot of support as well as the blessings of helping others.

But how do we fellowship? Are there such things as good fellowship and not so good fellowship?

How to Do It

Larry Crabb, a well-known author on the spiritual life, says that we can all choose to encourage others. By prayerfully considering how to encourage each person and then doing it we can do much to help that person meet the challenges of daily life. And we all need encouragement, especially pastors (Hebrews 10:24).

Another suggestion on how to fellowship is to be real with other people. We need to let them know who we really are. Not what we want them to see, but the good, the bad, and the ugly in us.

Of course, we will need to do this around safe people. Often this can be found in a healthy small group or in some mentoring relationship.

We will ultimately need to depend on God’s love and acceptance of us no matter how bad we are, to overcome the fear of rejection we may have if we open up and let people see the real person we are. If we aren’t authentic, we can block God’s work through others in ministering to us.

A final thought on how to fellowship is to get involved in a church. God has made each of us a body part. We are not the whole body and we need others to live powerfully. We are gifted and designed by God to play specific roles in his Body. Fellowship happens as we play the role we were designed to play to make our church a healthy place to live (Ephesians 4:16).

 

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