I was scared as I opened the letter from the doctor’s office. I thought I was getting the results of my CT Scan that would show if I had developed any new aneurisms in the past year. I was scared for it could involve more surgery or worse.

I had just read that day the way to overcome the “What ifs?” is to replace them with “So, whats?” The belief behind this statement is God works all things for our good (Romans 8:28-29). As I nervously tore open the letter, I kept repeating “So what, So what?”. I was hoping my anxiety level would be no higher than level 3, but it was closer to a 7 out of 10. It turned out not to be the report on the scan results but a change of appointment. I felt both relief and disappointment.

I spent a few minutes pondering what had just happened. I concluded I believed hearing the scan results merited a mild anxious reaction. However, my heart believed this event was a clear and present danger. My head believed if the results were bad and I would die I will go to heaven and it would be wonderful forever. I also believed if I had to go through another operation, God would give me the strength to endure.

However, my belief in my heart was different. If I were to die, it would be bad. Why? Perhaps it was a belief from childhood that death is the end of all pleasure. I also feared the possible pain would be overwhelming and my life would be miserable. No wonder I was so scared. I told the Lord we had some work to do to bring my heart beliefs into alignment with my head.

What we deeply believe largely influences our feelings- and our feelings influence our beliefs. We can’t ignore either one. We often downplay the feeling side of faith. We focus on right beliefs and don’t pay much attention to what our hearts depends on. This frequently comes to us through our screaming emotions.

So, if very afraid, we need to look at our beliefs.

  • If afraid of losing our jobs, perhaps we believe we are the provider and not God.
  • If fearful of displeasing a leader, maybe we believe our security and worth are determined by what the boss thinks and not by God.
  • If afraid of the future, we may be trusting in controlling the future and not in God doing it.

We change our feelings by changing what we trust in. Do we rely on lies or truth? We need God’s help to detect and let go of the lies many of us have clung to since childhood and embrace God’s loving presence that gives us peace and security (Psalm 139:23-24).

What is one thing you are fearing today? Ask God to help you discern what you are believing that is driving your anxiety. If it’s a lie, then ask him to help you rely on the truth. Even if it is the truth, claim his promise to “be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your request be known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7, NAS).







One of our greatest needs is to be accepted by others. Starting with our parents and then by others we have sought approval. In many cases, this is good. For example, how can we keep our jobs unless we please our boss. But this can be bad when we place too much importance on it.

Growing up, I allowed others to shape my importance by how they treated me. Their approval defined who I was. This was not healthy. I pretended to be who others wanted me to be and lost track of my true identity.

For many years, the fear of being disapproved of by certain people controlled me. I allowed one boss in particular to define my worth. However, after years of hiding my thoughts and feelings, I grew confident in what God thought of me, which was a much better human being than my boss thought. I depended on God’s approval and not the boss’. Although I was fired, I went somewhere else that was a much better fit. And there they approved of the true version of me!

Why We Seek Others Approval

We seek the approval of others because we are not seeking God’s. We make an idol out of pleasing and impressing others. “They loved the approval of men, rather than the approval of God” (John 12:43, NLT). This was God’s disapproval of the Jews who sought the rewards of acceptance instead of pleasing him. A big price to pay for the approval of people.

When we crave attention, reputation, and acceptance, we will be conformed to the ungodly world around us and fail to be transformed (Romans 12:2, NLT). Often people’s approval seems to be more real than pleasing God. But it’s not. Several years ago, I made a decision to please God by doing the right thing instead of hiding what I thought and retain the perks of conformity. I chose to be true to who I was in God’s eyes and suffered the painful rejection of the board. But I never regretted that decision for the growth and peace that it brought to me.

How We Can Choose God’s Approval

We must be transformed to choose God’s approval. We need to allow God to “take captive every thought to be obedient to Christ: (2 Corinthians 10:5, NIV). This will enable us to see beyond the “smoke and mirrors” of this world and picture and hear God tell us, “Well done My good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23, NLT).

This picture helps us remember that he will hold us accountable for everything we think and do in this life. But it’s to reward us. There will be no punishment. We will receive rewards for pleasing God (1 Corinthians 3:10-15).

Moses looked beyond the fame and fortune of this life to gain a heavenly reward. “He valued disgrace for Christ above the treasures of Egypt, for he was looking ahead to his reward” (Hebrews 11:26, BER).

May we realize that when we choose God’s approval we are resting in the truth that God already approves of us. We don’t need to please others to be accepted. It’s a waste of time. “Fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell (Matthew 10:28, NLT). Pleasing God is far more important than impressing any other.

Rest in the reality that God approves of you because you are his child.






A common question we ask is, “What is God’s will for me?”  But before we pursue the answer to this question we need to ask, “Do I want to know it?”  We may be surprised to find out we only want to know what God wants us to do if we agree with it. He may not reveal his direction because we are not open to go wherever he leads.

Some may believe God doesn’t have a will? We think he doesn’t care what our careers are or who we marry as long as they meet some minimum standard. I disagree with this belief. God is interested in every detail of our lives and has a plan for our careers and who we marry. Paul says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago” (Ephesians 2:10, NLT). Who we marry and what jobs he wants for us are part of the good things he has planned.

If we genuinely want to know God’s will, even if it may not be what we want it to be, how do we find out what it is?

First, we grow in following God by knowing him. As we grow closer to him we become more like him in making choices. We instinctively know which direction pleases him. That’s why knowing the Bible is important in knowing God and his will. His life and ways are described in the Bible. His plans for us never violate Biblical truth.

The Holy Spirit uses the Bible to speak to us about who to be and what to do. God says in Proverbs 6:22-23 (NLT):

“When you walk, their counsel will lead you.
When you sleep, they will protect you.
When you wake up, they will advise you.
 For their command is a lamp
and their instruction a light;
their corrective discipline
is the way to life.”

Another way we can know what God’s guidance is through our feelings. God says we experience peace when we are going his way (Proverbs 3:17). But when we feel in turmoil, God may be guiding a different direction than we are contemplating.

For big decisions, I have often used pros and cons lists. When I proposed to my wife I had a huge list of the pros of why I thought God wanted us to be married. I honestly don’t remember if I had any cons. There were many “common-sense” reasons for why I thought God wanted us together, but the main pro was God speaking to me through a couple of versus that he wanted me to marry her and now was the time to ask.

There are many other ways we can know his direction but probably the most important is through prayer. We can receive his guidance not only in the big decisions, like who to marry or what career would be best, but also in the little ones. For example, each day I ask God who he wants me to pray for and what to pray for them. I trust the thoughts that come from these prayers as his will.

God wants us to know his plans more than we can imagine. Jesus promises to reveal his desires if we persevere in prayer, as he says in Matthew 7:7 (NLT), “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.”

May we not be deceived into thinking God doesn’t care what we do. He cares and has many wonderful plans for our lives. May we not act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants us to do (Ephesians 5:17).


I have been surprised by how many Christians don’t realize how richly God rewards our godliness and faithful service. Not just by letting us into heaven, but rewarding us with privileges and blessings here and in heaven.

Generally, I have been unimpressed by how much God is transforming and using me in his worldwide ministry. I also believe others are not impressed. Does this mean my life doesn’t count? No!

I used to measure how useful my life was by results. How many people showed up for the meeting? Do the people in the group seem to be growing? How many people read my blog this month?

What do the answers to these questions need to be for my life to count?

What I’m learning matters is just doing what Jesus leads me to do. I probably have no idea how God is using my acts of obedience anyway. Therefore, I try to focus on discerning what he wants done and depending on the Holy Spirit working through me to do it.

Sometimes the results are encouraging. Other times they aren’t. But it does not matter. I live by faith God is pleased by just doing what he says. He asks us, “So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say?”’ (Luke 6:46, NLT). Our lives count when we do what he desires.

The Judgement all of us believers will face is described in 1 Corinthians 10:12-14 (NLT):

“Anyone who builds on that foundation (Jesus) may use a variety of materials—gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay, or straw.  But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value.  If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward.”

It’s hard to believe much of our work can be a waste of time. We seem to be doing so much for God. People are being helped and we are solving so many problems. But are we doing God’s works? We need to remember we are not our own. We are “God’s very own possession” (1 Peter 2:9, NLT) and need to live according to his desires. “No longer living for the lusts of men but for the will of God” (1 Peter 4:2, NAS). When we don’t focus on being and doing what he wants, we can miss making our life count. And God has specific tasks for us to do.

One important thing that can help us be useful to God is to grow in humility. God doesn’t need us. He gives us the privilege to serve alongside him in meeting the needs of the world. And whatever gifts and abilities we have come from him. “What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift? (1 Corinthians 4:7, NLT).

We can also ask the Holy Spirit to help us detect our strong desires to serve him in our way and change them to what God wants.  He designed us to partner and live in reliance on him throughout the day (John 15:5). Only when we submit to being and doing what God wants will our efforts count.




It may sound strange, but for most of my life I didn’t know I had a heart. I knew I had a physical one. I could feel it beating. But I didn’t know many of my deep feelings, beliefs, and motives.

About thirteen years ago I began a journey in learning how to access my heart and discern what was going on down there. I discovered a messy world of conflicting thoughts and feelings. I thought I believed what I knew in my head, but I began to realize often this was not the case.

We all have a hidden heart that controls us more than we think. We carry into our relationship with God many lies and dependencies leftover from childhood. The world also molds us to live in wrong ways. These false dependencies and lies can still influence us. For example, we are taught to perform well so we can become important. We feel the need to be liked by certain people to be acceptable. We desire to impress to be liked and loved. As Christians, we should know these are lies. Yet, we often live as if they are true at the deep levels of our lives.

We feel confused because what we are believing conflicts with what God tells us in the Bible and what we know in our heads. He says we are important, even when we fail. He tells us we are adequate, even when we are rejected. And he reassures us we are loved, even when we don’t impress.

But because we often don’t examine ourselves, this unbelief is not detected and dealt with. Thus, with our words and actions we deceive ourselves into thinking we are living a transformed life of love and power, but in reality, we are still bogged down in the old ways.

How do we access our hearts to know what we believe and rely on?

One thing we need to do is to slow down daily to clear our minds and listen for the voice of God deep within. We can ask the Holy Spirit to “Search me, oh God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way (Psalm 139:23,24, NASB).

It is in being silent we may detect the thoughts and feeling we didn’t know we had. Our feelings are useful in discerning what we are relying on. If we feel fear, we are probably not believing God is protecting us. If we are feeling troubled, we may be heading in the wrong direction. If we feel depressed, we may have lost hope of deliverance from a painful situation.

It’s important to remember our feelings do not necessarily tell us what is true about life. But they can tell us a lot about ourselves. We may discover the reason we are fearful is we are relying too much on ourselves. However, the truth about life is God promises to enable us to endure and overcome the challenges. By discovering we are anxious, we can pray and be transformed as we shift our dependency off ourselves and onto God (Philippians 4:5-6).

May we not run from our hearts, but learn to access and know what is in them. This can be the first step in becoming more like Jesus. Let’s remember the condition of our hearts is what measures our spiritual maturity, not what we know.


Billy Graham once said having a daily Quiet Time was his most important spiritual discipline. It’s mine too. I know how helpful it has been to stabilize my walk and focus my attention on God’s ways.

However, in my early Christian years I put more emphasis on having a devotional time than was healthy. I almost lost my relationship with my future wife when I blurted out to her “I don’t see how anyone could walk with God and not have a daily Quiet Time” in response to her confessed struggle over practicing the discipline.

Over the years, this time has grown to be the highlight of my day. I enjoy it as I spend time in his presence.

Why should we have a daily Quiet Time?

Spending time with God in this way is similar to when Mary sat at Jesus feet and listened to him (Luke 10:38-42). Jesus commended her for doing this and warned Martha her busyness was distracting her from listening to what he had to say.

Being with Jesus in a devotional time allows us to receive from him guidance, encouragement and insight into the perplexing challenges we face. We also grow in our friendship and confidence in his willingness and ability to help us through the thorny issues we often face.

We are also better able to see life from his perspective and grow wiser.

We not only get to know God better, but also ourselves as he reveals our hearts. He grows us as we make the effort to be available to him in this way.

Practicing this discipline is a way to show God we put him first. We don’t try to change the world in our own fortitude alone, but wait for him to give us the strength.

So, how do we connect to God in a daily Quiet Time?

For me, an early morning time works best. It helps start my day off with God’s perspective. If you’re not a morning person, another time of the day may be better.

Remember to be flexible and open to God’s leading in what to do. Focus on the Word and prayer. It’s not a religious duty. It is a living, breathing time with God. He is a real Person who may guide us through our thoughts, the Word or in some other way to do something different than we had planned.

In recent years, I have often begun the time with asking him to reveal my heart. Often, he uses my feelings to help me identify my heart beliefs. “Search me, oh God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way (Psalm 139:22-23, NASB).

Once revealed, ask God for help in living his truth, for we can’t live the Christian life without his Spirit working (John 15:5).

The Quiet Time is a container in which we can practice a number of other spiritual disciplines such as:

  • Meditate and apply a passage of Scripture (Joshua 1:8)
  • Pray the Scriptures and making personal requests based on the Scriptures
  • Pray for others
  • Pray for ourselves
  • Read and apply a devotional
  • Listen for God’s voice in silence

Stay in your capacity to spend time with God. Start small and as your capacity grows, spend more time with him. There is nothing magical in a devotional time. But it needs to be supernatural. If he doesn’t reveal and work, nothing happens.

May we remember God has created us to have an intimate, love relationship with him. A daily devotional time can help this relationship develop. We are his children. From this reality, we are to serve others that they may experience the peace and joy of walking with our Father.



My family and society trained me to perform my way into receiving their approval. Just being me was not good enough. I had to please and impress to receive what I wanted from others. This led to me being hard on myself and often demanding more than I could deliver.

These beliefs were then brought into my relationship with God. I believed God was demanding too. My focus became doing the right things and not on being the right person. I also tended to think knowing the Bible was the same as living the Bible. But it wasn’t. Much of what I knew had little impact on my heart.

But our hearts are what God is most interested in. He says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it” (Proverbs 4:23). We can do right but for improper reasons. Our doing will be pleasing to God if our hearts are healthy. “First, wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too” Jesus tells us in Matthew 23:26.

A friend with significant financial problems has been recently serving our church in several capacities. At first church leadership was suspicious of the person’s motives. They thought the person may be doing the ministries to receive help from the church. But after several weeks of witnessing this persons’ behavior, the church concluded their behavior flowed from a healthy heart. They rewarded this person by loaning them a car.

Many of us believe we need to please and impress God in order to receive his approval and love. We don’t see them as gifts but as something to be earned. But he desires us to rely on his grace. We need to pay attention to what we depend on deep within to feel good about ourselves. Does it take a promotion, impressing the people at church, and being the best golfer in the foursome to regard ourselves as important? Or can we accept God’s gift of importance and be whatever he wants?

God desires us to be real with him. He wants us to know the truth about ourselves and to share it with him. “He desires truth in the innermost being and in the hidden part he will make me know wisdom” (Psalm 51:6).

He desires our love. Jesus says the greatest commandment is to “love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. We can only do this when we receive his gift of being loved with no strings attached. Then he wants us to love others in the same way. God tells us we “love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:9). This means treating people with patience, kindness, and always with their best interests at heart (1 Corinthians 13).

We also have to face the humbling truth we can’t do great things for God without him. He hopes we will depend on him. This week our church revealed a God-size vision for what he plans to do through our church. I was excited but puzzled about how insane these plans were and wondered what impossible things he planned to do through me?

God does not want us to turn away from what he asks of us. Instead, he wants us to rely on “”I am the LORD, the God of all the peoples of the world. Is anything too hard for me?” (Jeremiah 32:27). He hopes we will go beyond our human limitations and be bold enough to trust him for the impossible as he leads.

What does God want from us? He desires our hearts, love, honesty and dependence. May we keep these in focus as we fight the battles of everyday life.